English

No one in this country speaks English. Well, that isn't quite true. I'd say there are about as many English speakers in Japan as there are Japanese speakers in the U.S., which is to say they're never around when you need them. But the weird thing is people think English is cool. They're always wearing shirts with English slogans even if they don't make sense or are in terribly wrong grammar. And restaurants and cafes and stores put their signs in English, to give it cache or something. There's a sock store called "Sock Man: For smiling happy feet time." Since 99% of the customers can't read the sign any way, it doesn't matter if the English isn't perfect. But some times it's SO wrong that I just have to laugh. Like this trendy little coffee shop. Um, Cafe Semen just doesn't make me want to go in and get a latte. Call me crazy....